I’m so ugly – My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

I would talk about the Oscars but just spelling it out alone bores me enough to rethink writing any sort of blog post at all. Ann Hathaway won something, gave some sort of eye rolling expected speech, that girl in the wedding dress that volunteered to be tribune fell on the stairs, yada yada, nothing too interesting there. Instead, today I would like to focus on how I sometimes (okay, often, call me petty, WHATEVAH YO) find mucho personal pleasure in the shortcomings and ugliness of people who are normally perfect. Lets browse the gallery, shall we?

Is this Big Ang from Mob Wives? Why no it isn’t! It’s princess Kim Kardash that has blown up faster than Jessica Simpson at a county fair. Yes, she is pregnant, and no, I don’t care.

It just feels so right. I almost don’t words. Almost. Sorry B, maybe your temporary face spasm into what I can only imagine is her best impression of Jay-Z coming to climax makes me jolly to the depths of my soul.
Here lies some of the best D-Lister stars, coming together, and singing a song about mayo. SORRY. Miracle whip, also known as the leftover residue that Lance Bass releases into socks every night after fapping away to pictures of Andy Cohen. Just a hunch.

Moral of the story, look in the mirror and feel good about yourself today. Because if you’re reading this, then I already know you’re awesome. Lemon Life lessons. It’s a thing.


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